At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
ugly people sure do ruin things
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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