i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
