I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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