I just made out with a guy for $7.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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