but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I currently don't understand fingers.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
