covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize