I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
