Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize