Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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