He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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