if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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