I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
