Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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