Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i've created a new STD.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
