White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
