I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
