Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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