you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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