so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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