If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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