Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Randomize
