She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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