just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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