You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
