I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
