Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
