member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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