my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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