i think my mom watched the whole time
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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