the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
