Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Still dying that you shit outside
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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