So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You're like the curious george of whores
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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