Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
