You can't special order awesome
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
