he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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