It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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