My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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