Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think people are normalizing furries
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
