not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
