HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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