I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Randomize
