True but thats because hes a fetus.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
