Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
