I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
