One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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