and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
