She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
