I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
