Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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