did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
