I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well I just put wine in my tea
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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