He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
